Barbara — A Guide Through Loss

When everything is too much, Barbara carries the list.

Losing someone brings an avalanche of tasks at the worst possible moment. Barbara breaks it all into three gentle timeframes, so you only ever face one thing at a time.

Section One

Right Now

The first hours: who to call, having support nearby, caring for children and pets, securing their home. Barbara asks about your situation and shows only what applies to you.

Section Two

The Next Few Days

Funeral and service arrangements, the obituary, notifying their wider circle, life insurance, veteran benefits — with trusted resources a tap away when you need them.

Section Three

The Coming Weeks

Death certificates, the will and probate, Social Security, accounts and subscriptions, protecting against identity theft. Important, but nothing you have to rush.

Gentle by design.

Soft colors, plain words, one question at a time — and never any pressure.

Built to feel like a friend, not a form.

There are no wrong answers in Barbara, and there is no rush.

It speaks about your person, by name

Barbara asks who you lost and your relationship to them, then speaks about them by name through every step — never "the deceased," never a case number.

A checklist with no pressure

Every step can be marked Done or In Progress — or set aside with "Doesn't Apply" or "Come Back to This." Your progress saves automatically, so you can put the phone down and return whenever you're ready. When you're through, you can share the full checklist as a record.

Grief support, always one tap away

A small heart stays in the corner of every screen. Tap it anytime for comfort quotes, a guided breathing exercise, and immediate connections to the 988 Lifeline, grief support groups, and therapist finders.

Your grief is not data.

"Your data stays only on your device. Barbara collects nothing."

Barbara has no accounts, no analytics, no ads, and makes no network calls with your information. Everything you enter lives only on your phone, and you can erase it at any time. This website works the same way — no cookies, no trackers, nothing loaded from anyone else's servers.

Read the full Privacy Policy →

Why "Barbara"?

Barbara was my mom.

When she passed away unexpectedly, I was lost. Alongside the grief came an avalanche I never saw coming — calls to make, papers to find, decisions I wasn't ready to face, and no one to tell me what came first. I searched for something to simply walk me through it. It didn't exist.

I build when life hands me a wall and the right tool isn't there. So I built the companion I needed that week and didn't have: something that speaks gently, keeps track so you don't have to, and never rushes you. I gave it her name.

Barbara is free, and it always will be. No one should have to pay for help on their worst day. It's how I honor her — by making sure the help I couldn't find is there for you.

— Alan Patterson, creator of Barbara